Don’t Give Away Your Power – Own it!

Mindset

We all give away our power at some point.  Especially as women growing up, there are a lot of stages where we are taught to give away our power.  It starts young and is embedded in our culture.

As children, we are born with two fears. The fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. 

We are born powerful and worthy!

When we start to develop negative beliefs and fears, we begin giving away our power.  

As children, we rely on our parents. We put our power into their hands for safekeeping.  Some parents are better equipped to hold this power than others.  

As a child, you have a strong will, which usually means you get in trouble. I know I did.  I had a bit of a mouth on me and didn’t hesitate to tell someone when I didn’t agree with them.  This was not appreciated by my parents or other adults around me. 

(Side Note: I don’t love it either when my children disagree with me or have a completely different take on things. When they assert their will and power.  Although, I do recognize the value in their point of view.  Sometimes, that happens after I have to go back and apologize for not truly listening to them.  We aren’t perfect as parents. It’s ok.  A real apology can go a long way in what you are teaching your child.  It teaches them it’s ok not always to be perfect and it’s ok to apologize, take responsibility, and move on). 

After we get in trouble several times (for me, it was a little more), we begin questioning ourselves and are taught that Parents know best or respect your elders, which a lot of times means don’t disagree. 

This is built into our culture and is the first place where we begin to give away our power and start to question and doubt ourselves.  It starts really young.  This is true for both women and men, but culturally, boys/men are more rewarded for standing up for themselves or having a strong opinion.  It’s not the same for women.

There is a saying, “Children are to be seen and not heard.”  I personally think this is a horrible saying, but I’m sure you know it.  I believe none of us totally escape this one, whether boy or girl.

This isn’t a conscious thing and in children, it happens very unconsciously.  

It also isn’t all bad.  Our parents do the best they can to keep us safe.  They all grew up this way, too.

As children, we need boundaries to mature, learn, and grow.  

It’s not bad or good it’s and. It is good “and” bad, depending on how it’s delivered.

I’ve also seen it go the opposite way.  When parents are so worried about disciplining their children that they end up giving away their power to their children, their children are running the show and hold the power.  

This is the first place we learn about power within our families and communities. 

Power is tricky and sometimes sneaky.  Not all power is good. 

It depends on the intent behind the power. 

There is Power to control and gain more power for self.  You can’t turn on the TV, News or read a paper without seeing a tremendous amount of this type of power being fought for and thrown around. This power shows up in leaders who are focused on Control and Command.

The problem with this is it can’t hold anymore.  The consciousness of the planet and humanity is growing too much. 

We are moving from I to We.  From “we have to do it alone” to collaboration.

When we move into we, collaboration, compassion, the win-win, what’s not only best for you but the whole, we move into Sacred Power.

When we hang onto Power that controls and is for self-gain, not service, we are giving our own power away to the ego, which serves no one. 

When we move into Sacred Power that not only serves you but also serves the whole, we are dropping into our Hearts.

I’m not saying that you have to get rid of your ego because I don’t believe that.  The ego serves a purpose. 

I am saying that decisions should be made from the heart, not the ego.

Until we can do this, we will continue to give away our power in many different areas. 

For myself, I have had to look at a lot of different areas where I was giving my power away.  The biggest one for me was giving my power away to people I thought knew more than me or were smarter than me.  This was a huge one that took me a while to stop doing.

I had to call my power back in this area.  I had to learn to own it.

A huge turnaround for me was about seven years ago I had a mentor who I thought was amazing.  He asked me to join him in a new business he was starting.  He also invited several other people.  

I was so honored that he would ask me.  We set up a date to have our first meeting as a group, and I was excited.  

We all traveled to meet together for three days to kick things off. 

I was shocked when I walked into the first meeting. 

My mentor had expressed that the people joining would have certain qualifications and years of experience. I soon realized I was the only one with those qualifications and experience.  The others were great people, but it did put a red flag up for me.  Note to self – “his words were not matching his actions.  

I made a note and continued on because he would know better than I would (giving away my power and not trusting my gut).

Several months later, I realized I was the only one in the group that was bringing in clients. Because of this, the original agreement was changed, and I was penalized.  Note to Self – “his words were not matching his actions).  Again, I made a note and moved on because he had much more experience than I did and must know better. 

This went on for a few more months until we were at an event together where I had brought my mentor in to speak.  I was excited about this opportunity because it would highlight my involvement with the start-up.

Third time is the charm.  Watching him speak, I realized I was giving him way too much credit.  He only promoted himself and said nothing about my involvement in the start-up.

It was like a bat to the head.  I felt like an idiot. I finally realized I was giving away my power again to someone I thought knew more than I did.  I couldn’t believe I had done this again. This wasn’t the first, second, or third time, but it was going to be the last. 

There are many ways we all give our power away.  Some are small, sneaky ways, and some are big baseball bat to the head ways. I’ll be sharing more on this in future emails and free offerings. 

The good news is we can all catch it, call our power back, and step into our Sacred Power. 

If you are reading this, it’s time!  My guess is you are being called to something bigger, something more. You may not know what it is, but you are being called.  You can feel it. 

It’s your time. You can do great things! 

When you own your Sacred Power, you can own your Magic.